Mother Murphys laws

Posted in Foul Language


THE FRANKLIN FACTOR: Early to bed and early to rise means its time to
meet more guys.


THE RAT RACE: If theres one rat in a room full of nice men, hell hit
on you first.


THE EYEGLASS PRESCRIPTION: Dont wear your glasses on a blind date.
Youll look better, and he will too.


THE RING RULE: A watched telephone never rings.


THE CREEP CALL: Never pick up the phone on Saturday night. Its a call
from a creep you told you were busy.


THE FISHING FORECAST: They say there are lots of good fish in the sea.
But who wants to go out with a fish?


THE PSYCHOLOGICAL PROGNOSIS: Love is a form of temporary insanity
curable only by marriage.


THE ROPE TRICK: Give a man enough rope and hell lasso another woman.


MIND OVER MATTER: No one ever falls in love with another persons mind
at a cocktail party.


THE FAULT FINDER: The faster way to discover all your bad habits is to
move in with your lover.


THE UNINTENDED RESULT: 1) Mens desire for sex sometimes results in intimacy.


2) Womens desire for intimacy often results in sex.


THE RABBIT RULE: Only newlyweds and liars make love every day.


THE DANGLE DOCTRINE: You cant keep a good man down.


TWAINS TRUTH: Familiarity breeds children.


THE FERTILITY FACTOR: Women are only fertile a few days each
month…unless theyre single.


THE PREPARATION PREDICAMENT: The longer you spend in the bathroom
preparing for sex, the more likely hes fallen asleep by the time
youre ready.

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